[x]

i need to be with someone as sad as mei need to be with someone as sad as me

inertia ridden

soliloquies

of imperfection

i need someone who will drink coffee at eleven am

on their dirty porch, & doesn't give a damn

thumbs bukowski lyrics through his skin

i need someone as sub-human as me

i need someone who dreams about dying, &

writes poems in upper-case letters

i need someone who is so human they're afraid of lying

i need someone who is chock full of morals passed down by

their mothers. someone clinging unto their sunday school shoes,

& singing the blues in the shower

someone who drives by a field of flowers; pulls over

snaps a photo they'll never

'see the same mo

a river don't stop to breathei still have this dream where i walk into your room
& we're seventeen, & your back is bare
when i find myself finding you there
i pull the curtains from your stained-glass eyes
you're waking up; touching my thighs
& things were so simpler then
when i didn't know where to touch
when i was afraid of your skin
when i wondered if you loved me just as much

sometimes i feel like i have too much of you in me
& it's funny how much of an impression you leave
it's easier to walk when i have perfected running
i don't want to talk when the winter's coming

i don't want to watch myself change
it scares me, baby
you have to believe me
i'm terrified of my

medicinegrowing older is a big word for medicating my youth

because i was once wild-eyed

i was once foot-loose

i was once alive with gaps between each tooth

i was once sea dust & cusps of mountains

i was once drinking pennies from fountains

i was alive alive

i was alive

i was alive

i was

& my fingers are dropping

my skin is growing pale

pushing around a child until painfully thin

it's just medicine

each year is just medicine

perthcatch your breath

in the skeletons of leaves

it varies - this land

these trees - it carries

the wind of my afterthoughts on the

mountain tops

i stole it from the cedars

they came to me when i was young

when dreaming was too keen of believing,

& forgetting was too fond of feeling.

i sent it off, & found it reeling

itself back in

i stood in the lakes

you stared at my quak

ing heart; tore apart your

self-made prison.

undone & dealing a thousand

sentiments on the tip of your tongue

i spilled wisdom

but saw my reflection

in the vapor, & this was when

i became older - & later on

told myself how to look beyond an hour

i've bee

Stephanie - Collab(I wrote us in free verse over every inch
of your tattered surface ).

you were the beatific grin
of a kindergartener high off oxygen,
mouth stretched wide as the entrance to hell,
black tongue bleeding virtuous sin like ichor.

(You taught me praying was for the weak
as I fell for your gypsum nails,
white teeth scrabbling over my chalkboard frame).

scribbled flesh tells no love story
but three layers of skin
worn thin along the length of our feverish bones.

(Garden flowers tucked away worms and dirt,
my ribs hoarded misspellings of my mother's name).

dipping your origami limbs into my ink

oh. hi.why don't you spin around, little tree-heart

smile at the stars & scamper to northern grounds

love yourself like lamp lights licking lonesome

blades of grass creating fiery fields

i can hear your voice i can hear your voice i can hear

you now, i can hear you now, they're all gone

old songs for a first lovethe crow is screaming

& the fields are swaying

& i'm staying

here

cold windsmoving on is momentary

wisdom is fleeting, & so

bitter sweet

i was defeated by a cold wind

he sucked up my soul within; spat me out

i saw the image of who i truly am, & i drifted back into her

she shook her head "where were you?"

i replied "wandering."

now i know i'm capable of anything

but it's not enough to catch without reeling

it's not enough to love without feeling

& now i feel all the pain i was dealing

on people as placest,
you are
the elementary school playground
scraped knees
‘cooties’
and all;
i still sit on the swings
sometimes.

-

z,
you were the house i grew up in
and grew tired of,
so very familiar;
every secret door revealed
every hiding spot
discovered,
still -
i couldn't help but linger
long after it
fell apart.

-

c,
you are the forest
i have been too afraid to wander in
for long;
so beautiful and inviting
so full of poisonous
things.

-

mn,
you were the last car
on a train: temporary,
in transit and moving
(on), but
nobody can travel
forever.

-

b,
you were
the dusty hotel room
i got comfortable in for
a few days, the one i
fo

lukewarmshe had the kind of voice
that seemed to be stuck
in the hour of four o'clock
in the morning - soft
and tired and luring,
mumbling her way through
subways and tunnel lights
all pale yellow with noise.

there was tea and long baths
and longer absences,
hiccups of breath
the best
she could do.
long springs and
longer falls,
one equinox to the next
and still the bad
was never that bad
and the good
was never that
good,
and she continues to hum
the birds continue to sing
the apples continue to
grow and
sour and
fall,

and bury themselves
again.

on essencebut first, kiss my dopamine--

rest your untiring hands on this swelled belly: feel me
as i swallow oceans whole enough
to condensate these north pacific skies, and accept
petrichor’s last offering.

so kindly are these breaths
left to lay rest
on the beds of noetic trees, let us watch
as they breathe,
let us watch as they breathe;

tasting the oxygen
swirling at the back of our throats:
life.

i love how simply the lull of your voice
bathes me in laconic moonlight
how this longing slows time two degrees below
the sixth of listening to mountains grow

pieced is this slow-beating
apologetic metronome, teethed and
sweetheart these
were

pour a little salt, we were never herealmond in

your wooden lungs

pursed your lips to the

sound of our love- i woke

the new birds & stole

the cusp

of rain on little

window panes

i'll be patient, i'll be kind

i'm too tired to be fine

i am yours, but you're not mine

i'm so close to taking time to myself, but my hands are turned upward

like petals choosing to

give the sun another chance

rose inside your cedar trees

climbed your weighted, burly leaves

leave your lonesome will to me

i'd pry the sea dust from the strands

of southern eyes & shaking knees

dismantled pygmalionwhen the sun collapses unto itself
and empty wombs grace the palms of this earth
heavy with child, bearing the soft progeny of chance, abandoned
to cover the land-

you will teach me how to reverse this network
of clockwork dreams, how simple mathematics can be
when calculating the degree of loneliness in countered white
virgin affairs- crippled calligraphy. show me the distance within these

isolated cells, obsolete- reflect the solar ticks
of all that is and was you and me. oh stranger of these quiet tides,
project all that is within, and sear your star-death breath bright into these
tragic north pacific atmospheres: release. give

AffannatoIf my ribs were weighted keys,
I'd play you an ocean song that tips you
right off the edge of the earth,
and clinging to my last phrase, you'd say
'what a tragedy, what a helpless dreamer,
such a beautiful pair of lungs gone to the dust'.

And night would hold us in that distant desperation,
playing our heartstrings so we couldn't keep up,
no, not with that soulful, off-tempo portrait
of who we could have let each other become.

I'll crawl back to bed on my bare boned knees
and when I wake to the black holes you've burned
into the sheets you and I were 'us' on,
I'll write you a desert song
about how I jumped off the edge of the earth
and yo

they can't be takentheir bleach skin caught my eye
albino white against the wild
hair like bright sky electric in the briars

haloed sister gods shot down like fawn

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let me growi am growing

so let me go (on)- let me grow.

see how the seaweed hides away

in the snow?

don't go near the north,

i'll be hidden in the south (inwardly)

crushed between rocky dirt &

grassy swamps

some are ampersands & some are not.

but don't look for me in those swamps.

i am growing, so let me grow

you see i'm changing, so let it go

& i will not grow like moss

covering a stone- no

i will reach up like a tree

every stitch of wood woven in my bones.

reaching & stretching until i am

not my own.

the sky dwellers hide in the lockets of my

leafy hair, because i have made it-

i am there.

i am growing,

so let me go (on)

let me

wastefulroaming through the era of your alabaster

baby breath

try to tell her there's something left

   but she opens her empty hands

laughing at the lines

   because they intertwine

it's something so simple, but so hard to understand

   there's an owl resting somewhere

   forest to forest we crumble

   against the oak trees & the little ivories

   we try to see the best in things.

but i will be the best of all of your mistakes

the breaths you takes

the marks you leave


   they say that there is nothing

wild one.
it's okay,

my chest is filled with strings

spun from one rib to the next

unorganized needlework

tangling where it

hurts

& i'll hold unto what's left

the stitched-up heart i own, it's no burden

though it beats in times of its own

though it fails to see through the

flowered, glass prison of my chest & into

the final phases of spring- it

sits still, rendering

please, keep me safely

in those secret doors inside your mind

the ones i found, but could never open

it's no use when your thoughts aren't mine-

& it's better to keep them shut

than push until they're broken.

all your ghosts swirling about my head

choking me with angui

star patternsi

want

to

drink

a

dusk

good-morning

until

the

sky

reveals

its

blue

i kissed those dark days behind me with a bit of my tongue

&

you

always

hope

i

will

begin

something

new

it was merely a dream those cowards sang in my lungs

now

i

sketch

star

patterns

on

the

bare

of

my

wrists

i will grow with the green of the earth in my eyes

&

you

always

hope

i

will

be

more

than

just

this

it wouldn't surprise me- i'm alive- i'm alive !

cold handsIf I
lay in violet &
rose water

will you hold
the cold
hands of your daughter

& no, I will never tread
towards the ocean

I lap the logic
of locomotion

Your worrisome face stretches
marks you can't

erase the letters on the
envelopes-
my middle name still
doesn't give me hope

I should have sat down in
the center of the world

pulled tangles from her
hair

swear

I'll be a different girl

but I can't just share

my wounds to
anyone when no one is
there

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bear

by *hazeltown, Feb 13, 2013, 9:46:05 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

i. there is a bear in the forest. he breathes out ghosts, inhales the most incredible brilliance - forgive me, i'm selfish about this one i swear i didn't live before him. he's the loneliest soul, i wrap my jeweled fingers around his bones because i'm alone within his skin is pale as aspens he looks alive in the autumn; grinds his teeth in the summer heat 'don't speak' he'll tell me. he roams with wild eyes & broken bones, he's the sweetest hell. he's a cavern in heaven. he's more human than i'll ever be his fur is made of afterthoughts & lulling birds twin stars dangling high above his head to mask a sound you'd give your life to hear if you'd only listen i'm made of down-feathers & ampersands who the hell do i think i am? you're a creature howling from within your gut light the oil burners; leave the door shut we're keeping out the monsters we are not failures we are enough ii. baby, make me clean again i'm freckled in moss - i'm wide as the ocean i wished my life away i want to drink the dew from your afternoons i want to wake in empty rooms iii. it's been different. i wanted it to be now i'm so god damn empty

bearby *hazeltown

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

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=HillsOfMyst Mar 18, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

This is so beautifully written, especially i. Congrats on the DLD, you definitely deserve it on this one

*hazeltown Mar 18, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

ohhhh thank you!

~Adonael Mar 9, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Though there were a few off-beat lines, I thought this started out strongly. But then it kind of lost momentum for me and it read as a list of statements. However, having said that, those lines were very evocative and powerfully used.

*archelyxs Feb 28, 2013

Simply amazing work. I love the way you manipulated the sound of your lines here. Just lovely.

*bloodawni Feb 28, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Congratulations on a very well deserved DLD!

*hazeltown Feb 28, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

thank you

*bloodawni Feb 28, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Welcome, m'dear.

=Sammur-amat Feb 23, 2013 General Artist

i love how you sectioned this piece out. excellent job, sweetheart, and congratulations on the DLD!

*hazeltown Feb 27, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

thank you ~

=Sammur-amat Mar 6, 2013 General Artist

Surely~ <3

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