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mean everything to nothingsat down in a hay field

maybe i'll stay in the warm, yellow, waning

whispers of this land

maybe i'll become the rain, the words

i'll wake with coffee brewing

i'll wake with you beside me, stirring

petals in your tea

i'll weave brown locks through my cashmere fingers

i'll press your brow against me

take off your glasses before you sleep

your beard grew down to the floor, & up grew flowers

around your bare legs - i forget how helpless i am

i dance through the fields in my yellow dress

you watch me with the sky staring down at you

you're still the sparrow nestled inside your chest

bird with a sorrow

love me tomorrow

i can't pret

old songs for a first lovethe crow is screaming

& the fields are swaying

& i'm staying

here

willow-sighswhen i was little my hair was to my waist

i wore sun dresses with little buttons, & tiny printed flowers

i breathed everything in slowly, i moved like a doe

into the to & fro of

autumn, winter;

spring centered my

nymph-eyes & willow-sighs

i touched tiny pebbles & the bark on trees

played by lakes & grabbed at the sea

& they tell me it's all history, but i can't bear to

breathe that statement - i can't let them ensnare

who i am. i saw it all, & it's there - still restless

like the earth moving the sand

they tell me to get over it, but i can't

i'm in love with my childhood like a long-lost lover

one cries themselves to sleep over

starsi pray that someday soon, in a lonesome winter, your bones will cease to ache.
regrets will no longer break your morals like glass figurines,
you will not ask God to pardon your sins.
you will forgive yourself.

i hope, for your sake, that your butterfly-flutter eyes
will only be dampened with tears worthy of shedding.
your glory will shine out of those 2 crystal windows
and you will finally know what freedom feels like.

one day, in the midst of a dreary december, i wish for your wings to open wide
and carry you to heights far past any you have ever experienced.
your lungs will become blooming forests
with snippets of poetry carved into

medicinegrowing older is a big word for medicating my youth

because i was once wild-eyed

i was once foot-loose

i was once alive with gaps between each tooth

i was once sea dust & cusps of mountains

i was once drinking pennies from fountains

i was alive alive

i was alive

i was alive

i was

& my fingers are dropping

my skin is growing pale

pushing around a child until painfully thin

it's just medicine

each year is just medicine

lovesong for sailorboyRead aloud and explained (somewhat) here.
i have always loved words as you love the sea
but i have grown to hate
prepositions
because i have always had words
about you
with you
to you--
but never for you.
words for everything
except you.
but i have words for this, so
i'll take them
one by one.
about.
the ocean was your first love and
i could always see it in your eyes.
most would call them blue--just
blue
like a swell over a sandbar
blue like the spring sky over a poppy field.
but i don't think anyone
got as close as i did and they're not blue
not shorebound and
safe--
they're gray like the steelbellied sea itself
like the horizon at dawn as it
encircles you
hems you into an impossibly vast canvas
like a demarcation line
or a promise.
one you always chased.
with.
maybe i had a streak of ocea

001 i am a whirlwind of
bruised knees
(purple)

an aching heart
(dark blue)

twisted guts
(red)

&
a regret that could
crumble mountains.
(green-green-green)

awake from my dream state.it was a leap of faith
but i wish someone had pushed me
so i had someone to blame

oh. hi.why don't you spin around, little tree-heart

smile at the stars & scamper to northern grounds

love yourself like lamp lights licking lonesome

blades of grass creating fiery fields

i can hear your voice i can hear your voice i can hear

you now, i can hear you now, they're all gone

cellshe kissed the sea with bokeh haze & light leaks

cradled herself to sleep with panorama dreams

when she awoke every thing was blurry

she peers through glass & turns to focus

the sand is with her

the rain is falling

these things come in twos, but they never seem to notice

a single cell

warily singing

carefully, wandering

her soul is dripping with

beads of sweat &

no regret

it's an emptiness: i cannot fit

my tiny hands in his

i need to be with someone as sad as mei need to be with someone as sad as me

inertia ridden

soliloquies

of imperfection

i need someone who will drink coffee at eleven am

on their dirty porch, & doesn't give a damn

thumbs bukowski lyrics through his skin

i need someone as sub-human as me

i need someone who dreams about dying, &

writes poems in upper-case letters

i need someone who is so human they're afraid of lying

i need someone who is chock full of morals passed down by

their mothers. someone clinging unto their sunday school shoes,

& singing the blues in the shower

someone who drives by a field of flowers; pulls over

snaps a photo they'll never

'see the same mo

Eighteight.
i felt most violated
when you denied it—
evidence may have mounted
in the mouths of other victims
but i haven't spoken—
even in the wake of certainty,
family and loyalty
forked my liar's tongue—
maybe it's enough
that you know what you did—
because i can't bring myself
to hate you.

seven.
your son's beautiful—
you were my first
and i don't regret that—
in your arms,
i realized myself.

six.
it wasn't my fault—
i received the letter
years too late
and suicide
has never been sympathetic
in the eyes of those
who suffered to live—
yet, i write for you,
remember your face acutely,
long fo

a river don't stop to breathei still have this dream where i walk into your room
& we're seventeen, & your back is bare
when i find myself finding you there
i pull the curtains from your stained-glass eyes
you're waking up; touching my thighs
& things were so simpler then
when i didn't know where to touch
when i was afraid of your skin
when i wondered if you loved me just as much

sometimes i feel like i have too much of you in me
& it's funny how much of an impression you leave
it's easier to walk when i have perfected running
i don't want to talk when the winter's coming

i don't want to watch myself change
it scares me, baby
you have to believe me
i'm terrified of my

calamity.the poor boy got a lecture from deaths secretary
"deaths busy enough as it is without walk ins"
"but it was urgent," he stutters.
"it couldn't wait, it was now or never"
he was simply told
"take a number, and wait over there with the rest
who 'couldn't wait' "

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More from *hazeltown

flecks. dear bird,

my skin is small & covered in flecks of porcelain.
you told me you understood every ounce of poetry that spilled & sloshed inside of my blood.
i was staring up at the stars with you,
"there's Orion." i said
& you spoke in constellations.
you bleed a starless, rose-coloured love.

i am tormented pressing my mouth to skeletons.
they are
leeches who preach
testimonies of silence & security.

it'll be alright, i need this.

it's you who is bright, burning
sunlight
you are the gravity around me,
i feel you in the weight of the ocean.

the shore line isn't pretty, baby.
it's not- but i'm beautiful enough,
everything e

the sound of your souli'm lonely, you whisper.

your teeth are broken

i sit in the sand to warm myself & try to understand,

press seashells in your hair.

you'll be okay, i say

you'll be okay,

you'll be okay. (i swear)

i feel you deep & blue inside me.

you travel like an ocean through my body.

i want to rest my head on someone or somebody,

to get away from you.

this is what your soul sounds like,

a thousand years after all is lost.

the earth dried up & swallowed in water.

the emptiness of the canyons;

no wild animals.

just restless, restless, orbiting.

storms & sand & forests & seas

this is what your soul sounds like

to me.

let me growi am growing

so let me go (on)- let me grow.

see how the seaweed hides away

in the snow?

don't go near the north,

i'll be hidden in the south (inwardly)

crushed between rocky dirt &

grassy swamps

some are ampersands & some are not.

but don't look for me in those swamps.

i am growing, so let me grow

you see i'm changing, so let it go

& i will not grow like moss

covering a stone- no

i will reach up like a tree

every stitch of wood woven in my bones.

reaching & stretching until i am

not my own.

the sky dwellers hide in the lockets of my

leafy hair, because i have made it-

i am there.

i am growing,

so let me go (on)

let me

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cold winds

by *hazeltown, Jan 31, 2013, 3:57:06 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

moving on is momentary wisdom is fleeting, & so bitter sweet i was defeated by a cold wind he sucked up my soul within; spat me out i saw the image of who i truly am, & i drifted back into her she shook her head "where were you?" i replied "wandering." now i know i'm capable of anything but it's not enough to catch without reeling it's not enough to love without feeling & now i feel all the pain i was dealing

cold windsby *hazeltown

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2013 *hazeltown

~Flummoxative Feb 11, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

"now i know i'm capable of anything
but it's not enough to catch without reeling
it's not enough to love without feeling
& now i feel all the pain i was dealing"...

That was beautiful.

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*0hgravity Feb 1, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I really love the final stanza.

Reply

^arctoa Feb 1, 2013 Student Photographer

^{An evocative and lyrical narrative..}

Reply

*raven-dust Jan 31, 2013 Student Writer

Many feels. It's such a wistful, beautiful poem.

Reply

~silver-ships-fly Jan 31, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

a beautiful play on words. C:

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