[x]

beari.

there is a bear in the forest. he breathes out ghosts, inhales the most
incredible brilliance - forgive me, i'm selfish about this one
i swear i didn't live before him. he's the loneliest soul,
i wrap my jeweled fingers around his bones because i'm alone within

his skin is pale as aspens
he looks alive in the autumn; grinds his teeth in the summer heat
'don't speak' he'll tell
me. he roams with wild eyes & broken bones, he's

the sweetest hell. he's a cavern in heaven. he's
more human than i'll ever be

his fur is made of afterthoughts & lulling birds
twin stars dangling high above his head
to mask a sound you'd give your life to he

imaginaryoh darling, we will never be the same. in seven months i lost my jar of butterflies & glitter dust. now, i am rinsed in acid rain. in the wild i wore my antlered frame with pride beside the minnow lakes; i forced my legs to run with the wolves, but god, did i miscalculate.
we are never coming back, so let's put our formers to rest. i unveiled my baby flesh with liquor & sex sweat. i hear someone sing to me, & fall to me knees. beeswax & honey lifting me through the trees. my skin will never taste like saltwater. you'll never press your ear to me & hear the sea. i was your enigma, & you were my favorite mystery. but we are never returning, so

medicinegrowing older is a big word for medicating my youth

because i was once wild-eyed

i was once foot-loose

i was once alive with gaps between each tooth

i was once sea dust & cusps of mountains

i was once drinking pennies from fountains

i was alive alive

i was alive

i was alive

i was

& my fingers are dropping

my skin is growing pale

pushing around a child until painfully thin

it's just medicine

each year is just medicine

perthcatch your breath

in the skeletons of leaves

it varies - this land

these trees - it carries

the wind of my afterthoughts on the

mountain tops

i stole it from the cedars

they came to me when i was young

when dreaming was too keen of believing,

& forgetting was too fond of feeling.

i sent it off, & found it reeling

itself back in

i stood in the lakes

you stared at my quak

ing heart; tore apart your

self-made prison.

undone & dealing a thousand

sentiments on the tip of your tongue

i spilled wisdom

but saw my reflection

in the vapor, & this was when

i became older - & later on

told myself how to look beyond an hour

i've bee

a river don't stop to breathei still have this dream where i walk into your room
& we're seventeen, & your back is bare
when i find myself finding you there
i pull the curtains from your stained-glass eyes
you're waking up; touching my thighs
& things were so simpler then
when i didn't know where to touch
when i was afraid of your skin
when i wondered if you loved me just as much

sometimes i feel like i have too much of you in me
& it's funny how much of an impression you leave
it's easier to walk when i have perfected running
i don't want to talk when the winter's coming

i don't want to watch myself change
it scares me, baby
you have to believe me
i'm terrified of my

willow-sighswhen i was little my hair was to my waist

i wore sun dresses with little buttons, & tiny printed flowers

i breathed everything in slowly, i moved like a doe

into the to & fro of

autumn, winter;

spring centered my

nymph-eyes & willow-sighs

i touched tiny pebbles & the bark on trees

played by lakes & grabbed at the sea

& they tell me it's all history, but i can't bear to

breathe that statement - i can't let them ensnare

who i am. i saw it all, & it's there - still restless

like the earth moving the sand

they tell me to get over it, but i can't

i'm in love with my childhood like a long-lost lover

one cries themselves to sleep over

him ampersand herlove, you never knew each night

i heard you when you said you were parked near the sea.

carved in the wood of the dock with a pocket knife

him ampersand her.

it's killing me inside,

him ampersand her.

now we're both unsure,

& it's what's inside that counts, right?

black & blurry.

hurry, love

they're erasing me.

i should go, but i am loved so furiously.

i am waist deep in your sheets.

why did he look at me that way?

why did he touch me that way;

why did he love me

after i ran away?

oh love,

i'm sorry.

next to the sea,

i should have knocked on your car door window.

"drive me home. your home. ours. & we are our own, & we a

on people as placest,
you are
the elementary school playground
scraped knees
‘cooties’
and all;
i still sit on the swings
sometimes.

-

z,
you were the house i grew up in
and grew tired of,
so very familiar;
every secret door revealed
every hiding spot
discovered,
still -
i couldn't help but linger
long after it
fell apart.

-

c,
you are the forest
i have been too afraid to wander in
for long;
so beautiful and inviting
so full of poisonous
things.

-

mn,
you were the last car
on a train: temporary,
in transit and moving
(on), but
nobody can travel
forever.

-

b,
you were
the dusty hotel room
i got comfortable in for
a few days, the one i
fo

echoing altitudesyou are made of gold
sit back, relax
words are like flowers for you
(unravel; unfold)

you sift in & out
through your beautiful hours
with wisps of honey brown strands,
& lime, snowflake eyes
a beaded & feathered crown,
an iris tucked behind your ear

believer, you are what i fear
& what i admire
i could say i am not cowardly,
act a little insincere,
but i'd be a liar

you're a shadow in a black & white candid
a slender form against the shade
eyes open in the darkness
ran your heart through an autoclave
at least a dozen times, but you're still
dirt skin & twig bones

in words
you are unraveled; unfolded
a little ghost girl echoing
altitudes

fox teethi've developed an interest of settling

into quietness & slow-motion

(his coffee rings

her finger-prints)

i am a water-splattered canvas now

jewel my skin

in periwinkle bruises - but

this is forever, i feel

my wings are snapped together - i steal

wood from the gardens & pine from the forest floor

i sleep in the morning

(my pockets are empty)

but, for once, i am not anxious

i am not depressive

i am not manic

you are there

from the beginning

your too-tough-to-be-loved bones are

brimming with fire & saltwater

& i know it's true

there is more than the world can say inside of you

& it's beautiful, twisting, burnin

woods and coffeelimb-like

your

hazel spine broken in bits

with the fern & the twigs

take two aspirins

six strings

synapses & wings

ease into summer, starling

raised up in the winter, darling

curled up on the couch

with the coffee making ripples

in your eyes & stealing

looks from a ghost in

the upstairs

murmurs from the ailurophile

laughing to the sound of you

waking to the full moon

plea to the skinny boy

in the southern room

the autumn left in the leaves

still tangled in his hair

i must have seen you there

still was the storm

in the black-haired girl's stomach

she rose up from the dark of his

arms & found herself sprinkled with

dan

in rain waterlove is not all rosemary

or thirst-quenching

sometimes happiness comes in the loveliest shades

of sodden & grey

if we're ever to submit to this life we

have to change our idea of what is right

because sometimes love comes without the light

sometimes happiness comes through the covers at 4 am whispers

we can discover ourselves in the brush of left-over rain dripping off of branches

poppy-seeds collecting in the shallow cases of our make-believe

i can't make you out in the dark

but i know you better than i know myself

but who are you to change me?

who am i to better myself?

i'd rather let you take me

tell me where my lips begin

lumberjackwhen we woke from the wildwood
we spread out in the grass like children
my honey hair dangled from the fern trees
your mossy skin clung to the thicket
we were free beings

but i still feel like you don't love me
i still hear the music that you're humming
like you're stabbing needles in my shortcomings
like you're kissing me without telling me

it's over

& i know you miss me
the way i used to be
i miss her too
i should have hung sage at our doorstep
& collected peas from our gardens
but that will never happen

but maybe you'll look up with your owl eyes
maybe you'll come down with your bear fur
seeking me out like ripe fru

lolitai am jane doe's naked knees,
shaking but still standing
bruised but still standing
swearing it's not
weak ankles to worry about it's
those goddam knees,
miss,
we have crooked
wires,
and
bad chemicals
quit thinking you're made of
iron when
you're really mostly
clay,
so
impressionable
(all skin, cartilage,
blood and nerves -
god,
it's only natural to feel)

sea featherin the breaking of the morning we tore apart our ivory shells
our blood-red hearts are saturated in spume & sea spells
with the ache from the brine gathering around you
your ankles slippery, your mouth
moving liquid through
mine
i had never seen a more beautiful shoreline

gunmetal breaths
on shivering, silver shores

you were ebbing to my flowing
you were coming; i was going

i wrote in the sand that i was yours

on the coast i could feel
salt on my tongue - dew from the
ocean in my lungs
& i was your pearl
latched from the inside to keep everyone out
speaking in rhymes, & cotton tides

this is when you pull my body fro

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snow bruisedpoor girl

she didn't see it coming

eyelashes frosted over

skin melting

mean everything to nothingsat down in a hay field

maybe i'll stay in the warm, yellow, waning

whispers of this land

maybe i'll become the rain, the words

i'll wake with coffee brewing

i'll wake with you beside me, stirring

petals in your tea

i'll weave brown locks through my cashmere fingers

i'll press your brow against me

take off your glasses before you sleep

your beard grew down to the floor, & up grew flowers

around your bare legs - i forget how helpless i am

i dance through the fields in my yellow dress

you watch me with the sky staring down at you

you're still the sparrow nestled inside your chest

bird with a sorrow

love me tomorrow

i can't pret

cold windsmoving on is momentary

wisdom is fleeting, & so

bitter sweet

i was defeated by a cold wind

he sucked up my soul within; spat me out

i saw the image of who i truly am, & i drifted back into her

she shook her head "where were you?"

i replied "wandering."

now i know i'm capable of anything

but it's not enough to catch without reeling

it's not enough to love without feeling

& now i feel all the pain i was dealing

old songs for a first lovethe crow is screaming

& the fields are swaying

& i'm staying

here

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i need to be with someone as sad as me

by *hazeltown, Feb 12, 2013, 4:21:39 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

i need to be with someone as sad as me inertia ridden soliloquies of imperfection i need someone who will drink coffee at eleven am on their dirty porch, & doesn't give a damn thumbs bukowski lyrics through his skin i need someone as sub-human as me i need someone who dreams about dying, & writes poems in upper-case letters i need someone who is so human they're afraid of lying i need someone who is chock full of morals passed down by their mothers. someone clinging unto their sunday school shoes, & singing the blues in the shower someone who drives by a field of flowers; pulls over snaps a photo they'll never 'see the same moment again' they'll say, with a chapped mouth somebody with rugged hands; iced, wooden eyes; pointy hips calloused fingertips i need someone who smacks hymns through their wooden, devil lips quiet in his calm calamity in his lungs all wide-awake, & drowning in the after-bake of bread & butter little rose petals on your shoulders bark & apostrophe marks on his drafts upon drafts books lying on backs of books seeing shadows everywhere he looks i need a ghost who feels alive when he's close to me. i need a storm who is violent in his serenity i need someone just as sad as me

i need to be with someone as sad as meby *hazeltown

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

baby

~therootcellar Mar 28, 2013 New member

me too

~Adonael Mar 9, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

The rhythm builds up to a kind of lyrical crescendo - I can't really do my comment justice describing the intensity any other way, so that'll suffice.

'thumbs bukowski lyrics through his skin

i need someone as sub-human as me

i need someone who dreams about dying, &

writes poems in upper-case letters'

I also like that stanza!

~Adagiobunny Feb 23, 2013 Student Writer

i have been sitting here basking in the flow & feel of this as it rolls & vibrates through my mind.

*hazeltown Feb 27, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

thank you so much

~Adagiobunny Mar 5, 2013 Student Writer

you're most welcome.

~Flummoxative Feb 18, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

You never fail to take my breath away, love.

*hazeltown Feb 27, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

happy to, dear

*0hgravity Feb 15, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

I really like the details in this. nice rhythm per usual.

think you mean chock full...

*UnspecifiedUnknown Feb 13, 2013 Writer

^{oh this is absolutely beautiful
you will find someone just like him, certain of it.}

*hazeltown Feb 27, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

i have, love!

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i need to be with someone as sad as me

i need to be with someone as sad as meby *hazeltown

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