[x]

cold windsmoving on is momentary

wisdom is fleeting, & so

bitter sweet

i was defeated by a cold wind

he sucked up my soul within; spat me out

i saw the image of who i truly am, & i drifted back into her

she shook her head "where were you?"

i replied "wandering."

now i know i'm capable of anything

but it's not enough to catch without reeling

it's not enough to love without feeling

& now i feel all the pain i was dealing

willow-sighswhen i was little my hair was to my waist

i wore sun dresses with little buttons, & tiny printed flowers

i breathed everything in slowly, i moved like a doe

into the to & fro of

autumn, winter;

spring centered my

nymph-eyes & willow-sighs

i touched tiny pebbles & the bark on trees

played by lakes & grabbed at the sea

& they tell me it's all history, but i can't bear to

breathe that statement - i can't let them ensnare

who i am. i saw it all, & it's there - still restless

like the earth moving the sand

they tell me to get over it, but i can't

i'm in love with my childhood like a long-lost lover

one cries themselves to sleep over

beari.

there is a bear in the forest. he breathes out ghosts, inhales the most
incredible brilliance - forgive me, i'm selfish about this one
i swear i didn't live before him. he's the loneliest soul,
i wrap my jeweled fingers around his bones because i'm alone within

his skin is pale as aspens
he looks alive in the autumn; grinds his teeth in the summer heat
'don't speak' he'll tell
me. he roams with wild eyes & broken bones, he's

the sweetest hell. he's a cavern in heaven. he's
more human than i'll ever be

his fur is made of afterthoughts & lulling birds
twin stars dangling high above his head
to mask a sound you'd give your life to he

old songs for a first lovethe crow is screaming

& the fields are swaying

& i'm staying

here

i need to be with someone as sad as mei need to be with someone as sad as me

inertia ridden

soliloquies

of imperfection

i need someone who will drink coffee at eleven am

on their dirty porch, & doesn't give a damn

thumbs bukowski lyrics through his skin

i need someone as sub-human as me

i need someone who dreams about dying, &

writes poems in upper-case letters

i need someone who is so human they're afraid of lying

i need someone who is chock full of morals passed down by

their mothers. someone clinging unto their sunday school shoes,

& singing the blues in the shower

someone who drives by a field of flowers; pulls over

snaps a photo they'll never

'see the same mo

medicinegrowing older is a big word for medicating my youth

because i was once wild-eyed

i was once foot-loose

i was once alive with gaps between each tooth

i was once sea dust & cusps of mountains

i was once drinking pennies from fountains

i was alive alive

i was alive

i was alive

i was

& my fingers are dropping

my skin is growing pale

pushing around a child until painfully thin

it's just medicine

each year is just medicine

perthcatch your breath

in the skeletons of leaves

it varies - this land

these trees - it carries

the wind of my afterthoughts on the

mountain tops

i stole it from the cedars

they came to me when i was young

when dreaming was too keen of believing,

& forgetting was too fond of feeling.

i sent it off, & found it reeling

itself back in

i stood in the lakes

you stared at my quak

ing heart; tore apart your

self-made prison.

undone & dealing a thousand

sentiments on the tip of your tongue

i spilled wisdom

but saw my reflection

in the vapor, & this was when

i became older - & later on

told myself how to look beyond an hour

i've bee

on the roadhomecoming,
dragging through the cling
of elsewhere nights
and asphalt haze.
the door creaks against the
whuff
of stagnant air--
antiseptic
and unwilling,
and it takes you two tries
to find the light switch.
you sleep in the car.

FreewriteI am not sure how to do this
I do not really like to write my thoughts down anymore
because I do not enjoy looking into my mind and having
to listen to all the noise
my head is always too loud
too chaotic too crazy too dysfunctional
I am not doing this right because I am
too focused on saying something interesting or
profound or what people will think when they read this;
these people are all real poets and good poets
and I feel like I am just playing along and pretending to be good
while I scramble through my brain to try to invent
something beautiful or unique or clever or even
just something that perfectly describes the ordinary
but maybe

pour a little salt, we were never herealmond in

your wooden lungs

pursed your lips to the

sound of our love- i woke

the new birds & stole

the cusp

of rain on little

window panes

i'll be patient, i'll be kind

i'm too tired to be fine

i am yours, but you're not mine

i'm so close to taking time to myself, but my hands are turned upward

like petals choosing to

give the sun another chance

rose inside your cedar trees

climbed your weighted, burly leaves

leave your lonesome will to me

i'd pry the sea dust from the strands

of southern eyes & shaking knees

snow-birdprettiest bird in town

felt his feathers wain, & the rivers drown

baby doll, i'm loving you until

the sun & sky won't spin again - he's

beautiful in his snow-bird skin

forever agoif you were mine

i would cling to the stardust & whisper "divine"

in your earlobes.

probe sand & skew water

for the inkling of a daughter in

your interwoven nest

of a chest

free in spirit

mind blown by the covers of

autumn leaves- free fingers cannot please

promises

i hold unto the thought of this

& if your eyes are wide & ever changing

let me emphasize them- darling

let me be your thoughts

rearranging

wild one.
it's okay,

my chest is filled with strings

spun from one rib to the next

unorganized needlework

tangling where it

hurts

& i'll hold unto what's left

the stitched-up heart i own, it's no burden

though it beats in times of its own

though it fails to see through the

flowered, glass prison of my chest & into

the final phases of spring- it

sits still, rendering

please, keep me safely

in those secret doors inside your mind

the ones i found, but could never open

it's no use when your thoughts aren't mine-

& it's better to keep them shut

than push until they're broken.

all your ghosts swirling about my head

choking me with angui

we are silhouetteshe remembers

icy recollections

on sapphire mirrors

he breathes silences

to remind me afternoon is callin'

riling up the strapping noon

make-believe to minor tunes

hallow these verses

she immerses herself in twilight

she undresses near the lamp light

she is in the same room

she grew up in

.... .... ..

she is not porcelain

i love it when you mumble come on, come on

your august eyes, your jilted jaw

your rough hands rousing wrinkled flesh

like cartoons, i'm awake with you

we are silhouettes

liquid dawn

fawns & fevers

heather licking hazel weather

we are together

AThere is birdsong and
sun-drenched long limbs,
sprawled across India green;

wet hair haloes and
a restless route scrawled
up arms and over hands.

There are blueberry smiles,
feet upon dashboards,
and city-light fireflies...

(And,
then there is you.
Always, always you.)

Browse More Like This

Download File
TXT, 1.2 KB more ▶

More from *hazeltown

snow bruisedpoor girl

she didn't see it coming

eyelashes frosted over

skin melting

old songs for a first lovethe crow is screaming

& the fields are swaying

& i'm staying

here

oh. hi.why don't you spin around, little tree-heart

smile at the stars & scamper to northern grounds

love yourself like lamp lights licking lonesome

blades of grass creating fiery fields

i can hear your voice i can hear your voice i can hear

you now, i can hear you now, they're all gone

View Gallery · View Prints

Featured in Groups:

#FreeWrittenWords

#writers-pack
express yourself.

#Write-Of-Mind

#The-Writers-Study
TWS - Your library, and desk.

Details

Submitted: February 1
File Size: 1.2 KB

Link

Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 10
Favourites: 19 [who?]
Views: 146 (0 today)
Downloads: 2 (0 today)

[x]

mean everything to nothing

by *hazeltown, Feb 1, 2013, 10:11:34 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

sat down in a hay field maybe i'll stay in the warm, yellow, waning whispers of this land maybe i'll become the rain, the words i'll wake with coffee brewing i'll wake with you beside me, stirring petals in your tea i'll weave brown locks through my cashmere fingers i'll press your brow against me take off your glasses before you sleep your beard grew down to the floor, & up grew flowers around your bare legs - i forget how helpless i am i dance through the fields in my yellow dress you watch me with the sky staring down at you you're still the sparrow nestled inside your chest bird with a sorrow love me tomorrow i can't pretend i'm the prism of perfection reflecting in rays; ways you can't predict it gets much more personal when i realize i'm sick it gets much less painful when i choose to forget

mean everything to nothingby *hazeltown

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

~breathingglassstars Feb 13, 2013 Writer

you are wonderful

*hazeltown Feb 13, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

that is such a compliment because i truly adore your literature.
maybe you'd be up for a collaboration some time?

~breathingglassstars Feb 13, 2013 Writer

yes yes yes, whenever you want ♥

~Flummoxative Feb 11, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Love the image the opening stanza gave me, and there are several particularly lovely lines in this besides.

"your beard grew down to the floor, & up grew flowers around your bare legs - i forget how helpless i am," "you're still the sparrow nestled inside your chest," "bird with a sorrow love me tomorrow"

*hazeltown Feb 27, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

ohhhh you <3

*0hgravity Feb 4, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

ah, I love the opening stanza.

*hazeltown Feb 27, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

thank you, dear

~mangosquirrel Feb 2, 2013 Student Traditional Artist

(readoutloud?)
your poems have beautiful, song-like qualities.

*hazeltown Feb 27, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

do they? thank you

~InkySnowflakes Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

this is absolutely gorgeous! it flows well and the emotions come through strong. great job. c:

More from *hazeltown

Featured in Groups:

Details

Statistics

mean everything to nothing

mean everything to nothingby *hazeltown

The Journal Portal

Polls

What is your preferred drawing software?

deviantART [dee·vee·un'nt·ART]

Keep in Touch!

Deviousness

Add Media

Style